If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or need advice... feel free to ask me here Chilali13.tumblr.com/ask anonymously or not!
FEELING DIFFERENT OR WEIRD
You feel different? Can't fit in? And that's bad? Then you need to open your eyes.
Look around, everyone is different. Every single human being is different and unique. No one will ever have the same experiences, the same eyes, the same laugh, the same thought process. If you feel different, that should be something to celebrate. Imagine if we all looked and acted the same? What a boring world! Don't hide your imperfections or your differences, be proud of them. Be proud that you are the only copy of yourself that no one, no matter how hard, will be able to replicate. Everyone is trying so hard to be like someone else... What happened to those feelings we had as kids? We wanted to be astronauts, fire fighters, artists, we wanted to be something amazing. Now, all we want us to look like the person next to us because they have better hair or lips or legs. Look in the mirror and see yourself for who you really are, not what you're trying to be to fit in. Don't let society take away the things that make you 'younique'
I HATE MYSELF + CONFIDENCE + BEAUTY
Why? Simple question but most people when asked begin to name their flaws instead of actually answering the question. Why do you hate yourself? What is making you feel this way, what is making you feel less or hate the things about yourself? Hating yourself comes from a lack of loving yourself. You need to love everything about yourself, all the amazing qualities and all your flaws because everyone has them. It also has to do with being less judgmental, about yourself but more so about others. The supermodel on the cover of vogue is not perfect, you don't know what she goes through, maybe her father left at a young age, maybe her sister just died, maybe she was abused as a kid, just because she is your idea of perfect physically doesn't mean that her life is perfect. Stop admiring what you think is perfect, there is no such thing as perfect. I love orchids, some people think they are ugly, does that make them ugly to me? No. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so look in the mirror and realize your idea of beauty needs to be altered to fit you. You are what is beautiful and if someone doesn't agree, maybe they prefer roses, or sunflowers, it doesn't make you any less beautiful.
LOVE AND HEARTBREAK
Everyone goes through this and usually the first time it happens you feel as though your world is over and you will never get over it. But you will, billion of people have in the past and you are no different. We all love and feel and think our love was greater than anything out there.
Everyone says "it will be ok" "just get over them" "lots of fish in the sea". But it isn't always that easy. You have the right to feel sad and cry. You have the all the right in the world to eat some ice cream and weep in bed, to feel pain and agony... to a certain extent! Do it for a few days if that is what you need but then move on. Life moves forward and life gets better and life gets worse. Do not listen to sad music or look at photos and things that remind you of that person. Move on and think about all the positive things going on in your life. You can not put all your emotions and hopes on another person. Love yourself enough to feel ok with being alone.
All those magazines piss me off when its articles like "how to get him" "how to keep him" Yes its awesome being in a relationship, its fun, exciting, the cuddles and fights, but it itsn't everything! Do not feel bad because you are not in a relationship, you do not need another person in order to feel complete. You are complete. You have to love yourself enough to be 100% happy when you are completely alone.
And lastly, NEVER EVER FUCKING EVER be with someone who is not worthy of your love and attention. If they talk down to you, control you, mentally and physically abuse you, get out and never look back. Do not feel guilty, do not feel sad, do not cry, these people are unworthy of it all because they wouldn't do that for you so why are you trying so hard for them. Love is mutual, not one sided. This person is not worth you time and do not think you can change them, people will only change after time and for themselves. This applied to relationships with the opposite sex and to friends and family. Cut the negativity as you only brings you further down and surround yourself with people who will love you no matter what.
MEAN GIRLS + A little rant I did in regards to someone attacking me on instagram.
I wasn't hurt by that persons attacks on my character, I'm happy enough with myself not to be affected by some stranger online. But it starts with loving yourself enough, and that took me a long time. I grew up super shy and naive so I was always bullied in school for having a weird name or being artsy or nerdy and it made me so jaded, insecure, sad, bitter, and eventually mean. Really really mean. I was conditioned through years of mean behavior towards me to retaliate and be mean first. I was a total mean girl at one point, maybe sometimes it's still in me, it's in all of us a little. Why be mean? Because I saw that's how the "happy" girls acted, I was jealous and I felt insecure with myself, disgusted with myself, and taught that I wasn't worth being nice to. Wrong! All wrong. As a kid you don't know better sometimes, I didn't know that all those mean girls were really just unhappy with themselves like I later became. A happy person doesn't being someone else down, no matter what. But the past few years I think I'm finally reforming and learning that it isn't right. I was afraid of being hurt so I hit first, built lots of walls, that doesn't do anything but create more negative energy. Love yourself and feel good about yourself, flaws and all and you will finally find pure happiness. Send out positivity and receive it back (one bad apple doesn't spoil my bunch) I promise you this. Spread love. Spread peace. Spread kindness and generosity. Be humble, be smart, be interesting. "Be the change you want to see in the world." The world isn't always a beautiful place, we all know that, but it's up to you to find the beauty within it and within yourself.
